I have been trying to figure out how I wanted to write this and how to sort all of my real feelings of this. It’s been a couple of weeks and I’m still understanding what all this means for me.
If you read my previous post, you know that I decided to quit my job because of the mental and emotional stress it was putting on me. I know that I made the right decision because the anxiety alone was making me sick. I was digging myself into a hole that I may not have been able to get out of if I hadn’t left when I did. So I’m so proud of myself for leaving. However, I did not have a plan when I left. I went from feeling very secure in my life financially to having no income in a matter of a few hours. It was absolutely terrifying.
So now, I have not been working for a few weeks. I have been looking for a job but haven’t found anything that I am interested in or qualified for. Here is my biggest fear. I left a job in which I was miserable and full of anxiety. I do not want to go right back into that in another role. It doesn’t make sense to me and it is counterproductive. Temporary or not, I am not willing to put myself in distress to make a little bit of income, especially because anything I could do right now isn’t going to be high paying. So I’m willing to wait a bit, find something that I enjoy or really can stand, and find a career path that I can continue into my life. It’s not the easiest decision and I have to think a lot more about everything now, but it’s what I need to do. It’s my right thing. So if anyone who may be reading this is struggling with anything similar, know that you’re not alone and sometimes, you just have to do what’s best for you, even if it’s scary.