One of the things I hear from people my age is how good change is. Be spontaneous and try something new. Every day should be different. Everything about the age I have grown up in says go and live life, do something different and take risks in life. However, living with anxiety for the first years of adulthood has changed my perspectives. And guess what. Spontaneity is not for me
As I have been transitioning to living on my own, I have had to figure out what works for me. How I can manage my anxiety in a way that works for me. I am constantly worrying because there is so much that I can’t control. I used to wake up every day going over the millions of possibilities that could happen that day. I can’t control other people, random events, or even the weather. Life is unpredictable and that is something I am working on accepting and embracing. However, there are some things that I can control and I have a system. I really like having routines that I go through when I wake up and go to bed. I have a cup of tea every morning to start my day. I do my laundry and grocery shopping on Sundays. I do a lot of my cleaning on Saturdays. Times and things may shift some times but I have control over knowing what most days are going to consist of. That gives me peace of mind and helps calm my nerves. When unexpected things pop up, I haven’t spent all of my energy and worry on mundane things that I need to get done.
A lot of people tell me I’m old and boring and need to get a life. That’s okay. Lives are different and my life isn’t as exciting as most. Every day is different but my routines stay the same. Every day, I wake up, walk my dog, shower, brush my teeth, and a number of other things. I know that these things will all happen and I have control over these. Understanding what I do have control over and what I don’t is one of the biggest lessons I have learned with my anxiety. Allowing myself to have routines and patterns in my life allows me to live in my way and I love it. Typical isn’t always bad. Sometimes, it’s the best thing for someone.