Sometimes, I mess up

Hello again! Sorry I’ve been MIA for the past weeks. Life has definitely caught up to me big time. Pretty much since the last time I was able to write, I started another class and have had a lot come up in the class I have been in since the beginning of the year. So, needless to say, I have been reading and writing quite a bit for the past month or so. It has been great for me because I enjoy writing so I really don’t mind papers. I more have a problem of knowing when to stop writing. However, this has taken up all of my energy. I spend a lot of my free time doing homework. When I have time to finally write for my blog, I’m basically all written out. My mind is in such an academic mode that I can’t begin to try write about me and my life. I really wanted to keep up with the blogs but I just wasn’t able to and I’m sorry. Which brings me to my topic today. Sometimes, I mess up.

This thought and feeling was brought up by a situation at work. I messed up. Big time. Now, there was a few of us who should have caught the mistake we made but I took it personally as my role is to make sure things are right. It was a very difficult situation as my team and the client was upset. But, I was very upset. It was hard to deal with as someone with anxiety. So many thoughts went through my mind. What does my boss think of me? What are going to be the repercussions of this mistake? Am I actually good at my job? Do I deserve to be here? Am I adequate? It took a toll on me and it took me a while to come down and look at the situation.

After talking to my coworkers and friends, I realized that I am going to make mistakes. When I think back on the past few years, I have made A LOT of mistakes and I know that I will make a ton of mistakes in the future. We are only human. We mess up. It is as inevitable as death. The more I thought about it, I realized that I can’t keep dwelling on the past and mistakes that I make. Other people are going to make mistakes too. While I understand that some mistakes are bigger than others, life can not be measured by how bad you mess up. If I can forgive others for the mistakes that they make, why am I not forgiving myself? It’s not about how you fall, it’s how you get back up over and over again. Accepting that you have messed up and learning from the experience can be one of the greatest skills one can have in life. I have started to make major life changes in my life that I will talk about in later blogs because it is time for me to bounce up and change for the better. The semester is almost done so hopefully, I’ll be able to keep you updated on things that are going well in my life and how I am choosing my own path now.

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