Two Sides of the Same Coin

I had the day off today and I needed to get a lot of cleaning and housework done. Now, as I went about my day, I noticed something interesting. I’m two different people depending on where I am. At work, I am extremely productive and extroverted, but at home, I’m not productive at all and introverted. It is incredibly interesting. I only work part time so I usually have full days off during the week, as well as weekends. While I was laying on my couch today knowing that I had things I needed to take care of, I realized that I had no motivation or desire to do anything. I had so much to do but I couldn’t get up. My brain just couldn’t function during the the time at home. However, when I am at work, I’m the complete opposite. I like to get things done right away when I can because I know that it will be better in the long run. The faster I get things done, the faster I can have time to do other things or relax. I don’t want to stress because things are not done so I always try to get things done as soon as I can. It also frustrates me that sometimes I have to wait for other people to do their part before I can. And it’s not even like they are waiting for days or weeks and just ignoring their responsibilities. A lot of the people I work with are extremely busy and take on a lot of different responsibilities. Things take time and sometimes, I get irritated waiting for something that happens at a certain time every week because I just want to get it done. However, the second I get home, it’s like I lose all motivation to get anything done. I’m not sure if it is the environment or trying to prove myself, but I find it so fascinating. I wonder if this does have to do with my mental health but it is something that I want to think and discover more. I want to be productive while I am at home so I can get more stuff done and keep my mind busy and everything.

Another interesting difference is being extroverted vs introverted. So, I grew up in a small “town” so I knew everyone. It was not weird for me to talk to a lot of people all the time. But deep down, I loved being at home and being away from people. I didn’t always want to be around a lot of people, mostly because of my depression. But when I went to college, I learned that I am very much an introvert. Talking to random people made me extremely uncomfortable. I wouldn’t talk to people in my classes, in my hall, or on airplanes. I avoid contact with strangers at all costs unless I was absolutely forced to talk to someone. However as I began to work in events and student leadership, I had to become someone who could talk to people in any situation to succeed in my role. To have the impact that I wanted to have, I needed to make an impact in my community, which meant putting myself out there. I have continued that in my current role as being in higher education, I have to be the person to initiate conversations. I also work in events, so I interact with a lot of people every day and they are often new every time. So now, when I get home after work every day, I just want to be alone. I don’t make an effort to talk to anyone in my complex because this is my time to be myself. I don’t want to talk to people and I avoid it at all costs when I’m at home. It is a complete shift from who I am at work.

One of the interesting things about being an introvert in a customer service based industry is having to make yourself be an extrovert. It wasn’t easy for me to do but I have become more comfortable as an extrovert so I can succeed in my career and step out in my life. It has allowed me to slowly start going out, living life, meeting people and making the most of what I have. I am still an introvert at heart and a true procrastinator but I’m hoping my motivation and social ability at work can begin to come home with me if I try hard enough.

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